Happy Friday! I thought of writing some Valentine’s beauty ideas for “Oh Hey, Friday”, but wanted to dig a little deeper today.
I am a relatively private person (said the blogger) and don’t often delve into my personal life. But, I read something online last week that stuck with me: a tweet claiming that your boyfriend/girlfriend is “not your family”- you can only call each other family once you’re married.
I don’t normally respond to inane comments (unless it’s with a “don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya”), but this one, while not directed at us, stung. J and I have been together seven years. It is quite a long time and mostly I’m just grateful that someone out there is strong enough to put up with me. Truthfully we’ve heard our share of bullshit and intrusive questions over the years.
If I had to define the term “family”, I’d say it’s the people who make you feel like home; people who make you feel whole. It doesn’t have to be your inherent “family”- it looks different to different people. Not everything in life can be clearly defined.
As a longterm couple, we have been together through sickness and health and richer or poorer, through births and deaths and career changes. We have disagreements like any other couple. Through each trial and joyful moment, I looked to my partner for support, and he looked to me. We are committed and devoted. How can you say we’re not family?
I believe in the institution of marriage and do want to get married. As a Christian, it IS important to me. If you have taken those sacred vows, please understand that I’m not trying to cheapen your commitment; I simply don’t want the validity of my relationship questioned and judged against another. My hope is that everyone looks at the world with openness: some relationships are not conventional, but they’re real, too.