Have you ever seen The Holiday? It’s corny(ish), but, like Kate Winslet’s character, I like corny. Anyway, there is a wonderful exchange between her character, Iris, and a lovely elderly man she befriends:
Arthur: “Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.”
Iris: “You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God’s sake!”
This week started off on the wrong foot. I had a headache that sidelined me and put me in bed at 9:30 Monday night, the air is still not functioning properly in my car, I’m struggling in my fitness/health journey, and creatively unfulfilled at work. Then I woke up Tuesday morning and put on a dress that was tight on my boobs and rode up my butt and my hair was a wreck and it was hot as hell and work was overwhelming…
I was in a foul mood most of the day. Tired, grumpy, stressed, and plagued with that hangover-like feeling you get after a terrible headache. And honestly I’ve felt like that a lot lately: moody, emotional, and over-worked. Taken for granted. Out of control. Defeated. And it struck me- I am NOT being the leading lady of my own life.
Being the leading lady means that you take control of your life. You feel deserving (not entitled). You know your worth and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You create mental, physical, and emotional boundaries. You persevere. You are hell on a big ass pair of high heels. You get what you want because you expect nothing less.
But being the best friend is sometimes easier, right? You can sit quietly in the back and blend in with the crowd. You can let people take advantage of you. You accept defeat. You don’t put yourself first, in any situation. You settle. You don’t have to express vulnerability. But I’m not that kind of gal. And I’ll bet you’re not, either.
There are aspects of life we can control: I can get my air fixed or buy a new car, I can actively search for a new job or ask for a raise, I can spend less time online, and I can change up my workout routine and cut out sweets. Or I can give up and watch as another woman gets the life I want. The best friend is okay with sitting on the sidelines, being ignored and forgotten. I want to be heard.
Sitting on the outside watching YOUR life happen isn’t living. As a leading lady, you’re an active participant. You know that not everything is handed to you: sometimes you have to ask for it. Sometimes you have to take it. So I challenge you to be THE leading lady this week- ask for that raise, say no, wear the sexy dress for date night, run that marathon, and find your happiness. The best friend might be a great sidekick, but the leading lady has all the fun.
Tell me: are you the leading lady in your life? Or the best friend?