It’s a short week for me- I’m off work tomorrow for the holiday (THANK YOU) which is fabulous because I had a 5 hour meeting yesterday. I am burned out. Do short weeks sometimes feel longer? Thankfully today is a good day: I’m introducing July sponsors and sharing a $90 PayPal giveaway!
I read an amazing article on Facebook (of all places) that I can no longer locate, but the synopsis was this: stop using the word “just”. We say “just checking in” or “just wanted to see if you got my email” or “just stop.” We are using it as a “safe” word so we don’t sound too demanding. We’re afraid we’re being impolite if we say “Did you get my email?” Oof.
Tiptoeing and not being bold in our work and home life means that we’re not living up to our potential. We are not living our best lives! And we have much more to offer the world!
I think many of us are guilty of holding ourselves back; not always, of course. I know I am guilty of it. I intimidate others, but in the same breath, I’ll apologize for my humidity-flattened hair. I’m devaluing myself before anyone else has a chance.
Here are other ways I think we’re hurting ourselves:
Apologizing for everything.
I am the worst with this. I apologize for our house being “dirty”, for not having groceries, for not doing everything at work, for having messy hair. Why should we apologize for our homes looking lived in? Or for not having time to make it to the store? Or being overwhelmed with duties at work? The only time you should apologize is when you’ve wronged or hurt someone or you’re expressing sympathy.
Saying “I’m fine.”
Look, if you’re not okay, you’re not okay. No need to put up a front. Your emotions are worthy. Express why it’s not fine.
Saying “I don’t care.”
Sometimes we don’t, right? Nothing wrong with being indifferent from time to time. But sometimes “I don’t care” means “I’m going to lose my shit if we eat at that restaurant again but I don’t want to say anything” or “if I take on one more project at work I may become homicidal.” SPEAK UP or you’re going to eat an overly-breaded chicken tender for the third time this month or bust your ass while your coworker watches videos of his kid all day.
Never saying no.
I’ve touched on this before and it’s something I think we’re especially guilty of as women. We don’t want to hurt feelings or make anyone think we’re not tough. It’s important to say yes (you might miss out on an amazing opportunity), but if it doesn’t feel right or you’re overwhelmed, say NO. You’re no use to anyone if you burn yourself out. The world will keep a spinnin’ if you decline another invitation in favor of a night with Netflix and wine. You’ve earned it.
Not giving yourself credit.
I believe in humility but it’s okay to say, “Yes, I DID do a good job. Thank you.” We work so hard and wear a million hats: we’re wives and mothers and employees and cooks and chauffeurs and friends and writers and housekeepers and everything in between. You kick ass. Men pat themselves on the back for minor victories and you should do the same.
Excluding and putting down others.
As Betty Draper said, “Honestly, I think she’s jealous of me. I’ve seen it before. I was in a sorority.” Real life is not a club (and none of us is Betty Draper). We’re all trying and we are all one. And if you make it a habit of excluding others, you’re the one who will suffer. Being a “mean girl” made for a cute movie but it’s disgusting and childish as an adult, and it only proves you have no confidence in yourself. I may be sassy, but you can always sit by me.
Not being aggressive.
There is a fine line between being aggressive and assertive and being a bitch, but don’t get it confused: BEING aggressive and assertive does NOT make you a bitch. You have to stand up for yourself. Speak up at work. Ask for what you want. Tell someone when they’ve crossed the line. Be HEARD.
What do you think about this topic? Are you holding yourself back? And what would you add to the list?
I am so lucky again this month to work with another group of amazingly talented women! I love getting to know these ladies- what a wonderful community! We have lawyers and mommas and creators and artists and teachers and I am blessed to be in their presence. Go check them out!
Must-read post: Sponsoring Blogs: Worth it or a Waste of Money?
Jasmine from Classy, Sassy, & a Bit Smartassy
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Must-read post: Kentucky Travel Guide
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Must-read post: Snap Shot in Time
And since it’s a holiday, I’ll leave you with a giveaway! Enter below for $90 in PayPal cash!
Hope you all have a fabulous long weekend!