I slept in on Saturday. I had a ton of laundry to do, a house to clean, a workout to accomplish, and blog comments awaiting a reply. We were planning on meeting my parents for dinner Saturday night so I knew I’d lose at least a few hours since we were going out of town. But I didn’t want to get up. I finally made my way downstairs, cooked breakfast, drank some coffee… then went back to bed. Until almost 1:00. I blame the nagging sinus issues (and extra glass of bourbon I had Friday night). But I didn’t necessarily enjoy one minute of my rest. Why? Because I punished myself the entire time: “You’re being lazy,” and “you left all of your breakfast dishes in the sink,” and “you skipped your workout yesterday- you can’t do it again today.” What good is rest if you don’t enjoy it?
I punish myself. Do you? I always think I could try and work harder. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can’t. There are only 24 hours in a day. I think women especially do this. We want to do more and be more. Why are we so afraid to give ourselves grace?
This has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks, like last week when I didn’t want to use a bath bomb because I didn’t think I earned it. You know what? I got up, went to work, came home, worked out, made dinner, and blogged. I earned that bath bomb. Simply getting up and trying every day gives you that luxury. And then I beat myself up because I enjoyed a few cocktails with J Friday night instead of working out and responding to blog comments. I scolded myself because I spent $20 on fall decor at Target Saturday night instead of saving it for my family members with upcoming birthdays, and my sister’s wedding, and Christmas. J begged me to take a couple of days off work for an impromptu fall trip, and I said no. What good is life if you can’t live it?
So for this week, a challenge:
Take a day off.
Let the dishes sit in the sink.
Skip your workout.
Eat that brownie.
Drink a pumpkin beer.
Buy yourself a new pair of boots.
Treat yourself to a pedicure or a new nail polish shade.
Turn off the phone and computer.
Let the laundry pile up.
I’ve always been told that when you look back on life, you will not remember that meeting or all the time you spent at work. You won’t remember the time you spent cleaning your house. You won’t remember the night you went to bed without unloading the dishwasher or the day you spent a few dollars on a cup of coffee. That stuff will always be there, but sunny fall days spent laughing with the ones you love won’t. I want to make memories and remember that happiness.
This perfectionist, control-freak, too-serious lady is vowing to give herself grace this week. I want to enjoy the ride. I want to play hooky and drink red wine and laugh and rest and treat myself and eat bread, because damn it, carbs are delicious. And I hope you will allow yourself grace, too. Here’s to a great week!
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