And it’s okay if you do.
It’s okay if you don’t create posts with “pinnable” images or if you don’t get Snapchat. And it’s okay if you do.
I’ll be honest: I never wanted to blog about blogging. None of the bloggers I followed did. They didn’t have sponsors. No loop giveaways. No webinars. Just… Life. Or makeup tips. Or their weight loss journey. They didn’t try to sell me anything. I miss those days.
Everywhere I look I’m being told how wrong I’m doing the blog game. I recently followed another blogger on Twitter who had retweeted a few of my posts. I immediately regretted my decision. I was hit with direct messages and emails asking me to follow and like her social media pages and sign up for her “how to be a full-time blogger” course. NO. I appreciate your hustle. But if that’s what I have to do to stay afloat, this life ain’t for me.
One thing that no one will tell you is that when you work for yourself, it never stops. J built his own business, and while there are obviously many perks, he is never “off” work. He dealt with clients on Christmas Eve. He gets calls at 2:00 am (phone on silent by that point!). When we go on vacation, there’s still things he has to do. When you have an in-demand business, those are the sacrifices you make.
I am insanely proud of what he’s accomplished, but I remember being completely envious of him last winter. We got hit with a major snowstorm and I still had to go to work. One of those days I fell down the driveway and had to climb through my trunk because the rest of my doors were frozen shut. When I got to work I had to crawl through the back to get out because the doors were still frozen. And J was working at home, curled up on the couch with his coffee. I had murder on my mind.
Before my company asked me to come on full-time in October, I was a contractor. I worked full-time hours but received no vacation or sick time. No insurance. No retirement. It was a stressful time for me. Between private health insurance, accident and disability insurance, and life insurance, I was paying over $600 a month for numerous policies. I now pay $50 a month. I am a doomsday kind of gal: what would happen if I was in an accident and was hospitalized for a long time? I’m a writer- what if I lose my arms? What if I got cancer and couldn’t work? These were the things that kept me up at night. And even though I’m the luckiest gal in the world to have J and my family, you just never know if they’ll be in a place to help you. And I don’t make a habit of depending on others if I can help it. All of that is to say that I’m much less stressed when I know if something happens, I’ll be okay. I am much less stressed when I know I’ll have a paycheck twice a month.
I’m just exhausted from the pressure. The pressure to be on every type of social media and utilize it 24/7. The pressure to comment on blogs you might not enjoy just so you might be seen by a new audience. The pressure to post “authentic” artistic Instagram photos on a white rug in the middle of the day. I’m competitive but I also know that there will almost always be someone who works harder and who has more time. There will always be someone more “marketable.” You can have 500,000 followers but there’s someone out there with a million. There will be someone younger and more knowledgeable. Someone will just “get it” better. It’s never enough and it never ends.
So I don’t want to feel like I’m unsuccessful if I never blog full-time. Because it’s not my goal. Being happy and being challenged and meeting others make me feel like a successful blogger. I’m thrilled when readers tell me they purchased a product I recommended or signed up for a class on Codecademy or made an investment via Loyal3. I’m happy to go to my job every day, even when it’s hard, and have an exciting hobby to come home to so I don’t spend my after work hours passed out in front of Netflix.
I’m so thankful for this opportunity. I’m thankful for what I’ve learned and for the wonderful friends I’ve made. I’m grateful when I make a few bucks from it so I can put it back into my site or to pay off debt. I am not above sponsored posts and I am not above selling myself. Those of you who have busted ass and are now reaping those rewards by being your own boss- YOU GO, GIRL. Just don’t tell me I’m wrong for not doing the same.
Anne had a very similar post a couple of weeks ago that I remembered as I was putting it together. I lover her take as well.
How do you feel about the blogging world lately?