This month has been challenging. No need to sugarcoat. Financially, emotionally, overwhelmingly challenging. At work and at home. Life.
I don’t want to be Debbie Downer today. But Monday we found out that one of my co-workers had unexpectedly passed away. The second co-worker we’ve lost in six months. And not that it’d make a difference, but these were not old people – they were our age.
It’s heartbreaking and just sucks. There isn’t a more eloquent way to put it. But tragedies always have a way of putting things in perspective:
I don’t want to look back and regret the way I’m living now.
I had to go to the allergist for more shots Monday and decided to enjoy the rest of the afternoon instead of rushing back to work. It was gorgeous and temperatures were low. I went to Target and Home Goods. I ate a big ass bag of Target popcorn. I bought some fall beer. I spruced up our bedroom and reorganized some cabinets and drawers. I ate cheese. I read my favorite blogs and listened to music with my love. We caught up on The Night Of. And I felt thankful. Thankful for our health. Thankful to be here. Thankful that it was just our air that crapped out and that we made it through to the other side.
Life goes by in an instant and I’m tired of playing it safe. I’m tired of taking jobs just because I get insurance and retirement. As evidenced by recent events, there’s a good chance we might not make it there. We’re not promised “work for 27 years and you can finally retire and rest.” I’m tired of worrying about every single dollar I spend or counting my debt or buying a shittier brand so I save 50 cents. Sometimes you need to be a little reckless, don’t you? I think of all the things I’ve missed out on because I was afraid to take a risk. Afraid of screwing up. Afraid of disappointing someone.
When you’re in the thick of it, it’s impossible to envision that there could be a different way. You can take a different path. YOU control and create your own way. You can change your career, get out of debt, leave a shitty relationship, move to a new state or country. You’re never too old to shake up your life. You’re never too old to learn or explore or give a big “fuck you!” to what weighs you down. You’re never too old to discover yourself. You’re never in too deep to claw your way out.
Take a chance this week. Find your passion. Leave your job. Go back to school. Write a book. Go on a date. Buy a fancy wine. Sell all of your possessions and buy a tiny house, if that’s what you want.
How are you going to live this week?