One of my biggest pet peeves is jealousy. God knows I have my moments. We all do, I think. There are lots of women further ahead in their lives and careers than me, and I do my fair share of comparing and feeling down. I can also be judgmental – I have never claimed to be perfect! But the constant stream of petty remarks on social media and in person wear a person thin, you know?
I truly, deeply, in my heart believe that we can all have the lives we want. I cling to that belief. It may not happen today. May not happen this year. Dreams take time and dedication and, occasionally, a little bit of luck. It’s true that some people are lucky. For every Joan Crawford – putting blood, sweat, and tears into making it, there’s a Lana Turner – discovered while simply drinking a soda at a malt shop. It can be disheartening. I have personally tried and failed at a million different ventures while watching others achieve their version of my dream. And sometimes it takes me longer than others to get up and try again. But you have to keep trying. Getting on Facebook to complain that someone is enjoying themselves at a conference you weren’t invited to gets you nowhere. Make it your goal to be there next year. Or in five years. Or set your own goal for happiness. Jealousy is an ugly disease that will consume your heart and soul if you let it. And we often do.
We don’t always see the work that goes into the success. We don’t see the work that goes into these seemingly endless free vacations and $1,000 handbags. We don’t see the dedication that goes into the abs or rock-hard booty. The 4:30 a.m. wakeup calls. The 4-hour prep for an Instagram photo (yes, I once read a blogger say it took four hours to get ready for one picture on Instagram). The non-stop hours and sacrifices. The money. Most good things do not happen overnight. I’m not going to wake up tomorrow with a perfect body or a million dollars in my account (unless I win the lottery, which would be a nice start). I’m not going to wake up with 398472937 blog subscribers. I’m not going to wake up to a clutter-free home and organized closet. My business isn’t going to receive 100 inquiries. My debt won’t be paid off. But it doesn’t mean that I can’t have those things. It means I have to put in some work.
And remember that if someone else is living your dream, it doesn’t mean you can’t get it, too. There can be more than one full-time blogger. There can be more than one dream home, more than one good man (or woman), more than one degree, more than one weight loss, more than one dream job, more than one dream life. Just because it happens for someone faster doesn’t mean there’s none left for you. That’s a garbage way to live life. There’s room at the table for us all.
Some do have it a littler easier. Some have a little more money to spend, are a little fitter, have a bigger support system. A little more privilege. But that’s okay. Don’t let the uphill battle scare you away from living your best life.
And believe me again when I say I struggle with this… in fact, I have a post coming soon about how I compare myself to others online every day. But my point is this: we can do better. We owe it to our sisters – as easy as some of them seem to have it. And, most importantly, we owe it to ourselves. Being jealous and resentful will do nothing but hold you back.