Happy Monday, everyone.
I hope you all had the best weekend! I had off Friday in observation of Veteran’s Day and we did nothing. We thought about going to see a movie or shopping, but we both needed a weekend to be. In fact, I didn’t leave the house until I had to go into work for a few hours on Sunday. We watched a lot of sports and cooked a lot of food and relaxed with cider and beer in between loads of laundry. The holidays are always busy and it was nice to have a weekend to relax.
The following is a stream of consciousness and I apologize in advance.
I’m hosting a conference (my first) for 200 people at work this week and I’ve been swamped, hence the lack of blog posts. Please excuse my absence on reading blogs this week as well! I worked a few 10+-hour days last week and by the time I got home I was too exhausted to write. And the time change put a damper on Instagram picture-taking. It was already dark when I got off work every day last week, so I took a break from everything. The first night I was upset over the lack of light for pictures and then I realized how silly that was. Blogging is a hobby and when it starts to feel like work then it’s time for a change. I’ll never have the free time needed to compete – I can’t manage perfectly-styled pictures and to post about every sale and to comment on 293478297 Instagram posts in order to get more engagement. It’s not logical for me with a full-time job and life, and I know many of you can relate. There’s part of my personality that will always be competitive and want millions of page views and to make a steady side income, but, again, how much time do I really have to devote to building it?
Truthfully I’m not sure where I want to take this space. I started writing about beauty, then incorporated opinions and life, and now will share everything in between. Last week Reese Witherspoon said something that really stuck with me. In a speech for WSJ Magazine’s 2017 Innovator Awards, Witherspoon said that women want quality content, “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey.” Part of me agreed with her, and part of me enjoys sharing that exact content. I consider myself a feminist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to make a nice home for my family, and I sometimes struggle to separate the two. I also am increasingly burned out on posting about politics – I have to give myself a break for my well-being. There’s only so much of that garbage that a person can devour. But I want to be real and funny and open about life – not just the happy moments, but the shitty stuff, too. Because we’re all going through it. I know many of us struggle with our careers and relationships and friendships and happiness and finding a way to balance it all. Some days reading fashion blogs or gift guides is a good distraction. Other days I want to know that I’m not alone in wanting to run away and start a new life in Canada.
My goal has always been to use my voice for good and share substance on this blog. But I equally enjoy sharing makeup finds and beauty routines and home decor and fashion posts. Fashion posts are quickly becoming a favorite for me, and not because of the affiliate links. As a curvier woman, I’ve never felt like I had a lot of representation in the blog world. There are gorgeous fashion bloggers of all sizes, but those of us “in between” don’t have quite as many models. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been sharing my fashion posts lately… along with affiliate links, because my pension is in danger of disappearing and I’m facing a 3% pay cut next year. Every little bit helps. I also want to use my “influence” (whatever that means) to give back to the community because God knows we could all use more of that. And I want to start posting more about relationships and sex and weight loss and health and general life because I can’t be the only one lighting up Google, right?
Anyway. If you’re still here, thank you. Anyone else go through an identity crisis once a year (or more)? Just me?
Thank you, as always, for reading. If nothing else, I hope that everyone leaves this space feeling welcome and that they’re not alone. Cultivating community is the most surprising blogging reward.